Point of View
by Janaie42
Summary: We all have that one. That one person or that one thing that we obsess over a little bit each day. No? Well...Edward does. AH, strong language, and a little lemon zest. Drabble-ish fic.
1. Chapter 1

"I feel like she's going to take one look at me and laugh."

He doesn't look up from his pad as he responds, but his eyebrows furrow in deep thought.

He has really bushy eyebrows.

Clearing his throat, he continues. "Have you talked to anyone about this? Jasper?"

I wipe my shaky hands on my pant legs and stare at the clock on his desk. Garfield stares back. _1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, -_

"Edward?"

I glance at him quickly. _7, 8, 9, 10._

"No. I have not."

* * *

Isabella Marie Swan is 23 years old. She's from Atlanta, Georgia. She's getting her Masters Degree in Sociology. She has at least one sister named Rosalie and her parents are married. Happily married? I don't fucking know.

She's a reader, but she also loves to go to the movies. Mainly for the popcorn, but the movie is a bonus if it's good. She doesn't like to hold hands. She doesn't like anything romanticized but she likes romantic gestures.

She bites her bottom lip when she's deep in thought, but she also plays with her hair when she's nervous.

I've noticed all of these things over time. Yes, I've eavesdropped on conversations. Yes, I'm kind of a stalker. _I know that much._

I don't go out of my way to follow her or anything, but I do make it a point to sit where I can see her or hear her when we're in the same space.

It's been a minute though. A hot minute since I've actually done any of these things. The main reason is because it's becoming a problem.

Another reason is because someday soon, I'm going to approach her, and I want to make sure I'm in the right frame of mind.

Well, as right as it can be.


	2. Chapter 2

She's wearing black today. Black t-shirt. Black skinny jeans.

_Her ass._

If I could die with just a handful of her ass, I would be -

"Hey man." Slamming his backpack down into a chair, Jasper sits heavily. "What? Stop looking at my bag." I glance at him, barely concealing the disgust on my face. _1, 2, 3, 4…_

She's thinking about something really hard today. I've never gotten close enough to see if her lips are chapped, but I imagine that they must be.

I've also imagined them covered in my cum but that's neither here nor there.

I could fuck her here. And there. Wherever she'd let me really.

_God. Her ass._

"Edward!" Jasper snaps his fingers in front of my face. I flinch back with a grimace.

"Keep those nasty shits away from me." I lick my lips. "I'm going to go."

"Ed, I just got here."

I roll my eyes. "I didn't say you had to come."

I grab my shit and get up. I walk away quickly, praying Jasper doesn't follow me. I glance back to get _one last look_ for the day. _Shit_. My steps falter. I almost freeze but I remember where I am.

I turn around quickly. My breathing becomes choppy. Racing around the building, I lean back against the wall.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…_

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

Who the _fuck_ was that?

How dare she?

How. fucking. _dare_. she?

No.

Of course not.

I would never do that to her.

What the_ fuck_ Isabella?

Really?

_Really?_

Ok. Fine.

* * *

"You're late." He glances up from his pad, already writing.

What could he possibly be writing?

"What could you possibly be writing?"

He glances up. Double takes. Stares.

"You seem irritated. Upset, even. Anything happen today?"

I stare at him. Rocking back and forth in this admittingly comfortable chair. _41, 42, 43, 44, 45…_

"Edward?" He tents his fingers. Stares.

So much eye contact.

I clear my throat. Breathe deeply. I fix my face.

"I'm fine. What's on the agenda for today?"

_Really, Isabella?_


	4. Chapter 4

_Peel. Tear. Bite._

_Peel. Tear. Bite._

I'm gonna talk to her today. Before I leave for my appointment.

7 more minutes to go.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 5…_

"Are you Edward Masen? Dr. Masen? Professor Masen?"

I glance up sharply.

_Why are you talking to me?_

She shifts uncomfortably. "Well, are you?" She looks confused.

Placing my hands flat on the table, I squint at her. "Yes. Yes, I am."

She looks relieved. "Great. Angela from Dr. Ostrom's class said I would find you here. She said you were in charge of the Study Abroad trip to Ireland? She…" She gesticulates wildly. Nervously. I see a few students a table over glance at us. Heads bent forward.

I glance towards Isabella. I double take.

She's looking.

In our direction.

I look back at this girl. This _very, very_, annoying girl. "What is your name?"

Not caring that I cut her off, and if she does, I don't, she answers. "Oh! I'm Rosalie Swan." She goes to put her hand out but stops as I feel my face tighten.

"If you need anything, please come to my office hours. This is my leisure time and I do not want to bothered." Breathing deeply, I go back to the task at hand.

_Peel. Tear. Bite._

_Peel. Tear. Bite._

BPM: 154.


	5. Chapter 5

"Last week you mentioned that you were too wary to approach her."

I huff a breath. "I figured haven spoken to her _sister,_ that was enough connection for one day." My fingers rub together.

Her _fucking_ sister.

She never looks my way.

Dumb luck.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"We've discussed the rules. We've discussed your techniques. Do you want my honest opinion?"

_No, dumbfuck._

"Sure."

He sighs, takes off his glasses, and looks at me. Purses his lips.

"I think you should have more faith in yourself. You're still young. You're attractive."

I smirk.

"Edward," his eyes crinkle, "_It's not against the rules._ Live a little for goodness sake."

With that, he replaces his glasses, looks down at his pad, and starts to write. Like he's so satisfied with himself

What on Earth could he be writing?

"What on Earth could you be writing?"

He chuckles. "Edward. Go home."


	6. Chapter 6

_From: _

_To: _

_Subject: Study Abroad Information/Dues_

_Dr. Masen,_

_First, I apologize if I have addressed you under a title that you do not prefer. You never know with professors who have a PhD. I have not been able to come by your office for more Study Abroad information, but I would really like to pay my first installment of dues as quickly as possible._

_Being that I cannot stop by any time soon, I was wondering if it was ok for my sister to come on my behalf to gather more information and pay for me? I understand that we have to pay our dues to you as you are the department head._

_If this is any inconvenience to you, please let me know. My sister would like to stop by tomorrow around 3:30._

_Best,_

_Rosalie Swan_

Fuck.

Of course that's not okay.

Maybe she'll forget.

Is this a joke?

Fuck.

Isabella Marie Swan in my office.

_My_ office.

Shit.

* * *

_From: _

_To: _

_Subject: RE: Study Abroad Information/Dues_

_Ms. Swan,_

_That would be fine._

_Edward Masen, PhD._


	7. Chapter 7

I know I'm overreacting. A grown ass man shouldn't behave this way but fuck that. How else am I supposed to be in my right mind if I don't get at least a little hit?

Okay. Even that euphemism was a little indicative. Of what?

Everything that is wrong with my brain.

* * *

I arrived at the library at exactly 11:23. Just between my first two lectures.

This is good.

This is fine.

Just look at her, pick up my coffee, be on my way.

Just look at her, pick up my coffee, be on my way.

Just look at, -

What the fuck? Where is she?

I look around, a little frantically. This is pathetic.

_I do not need this shit today. _

_I do _not _need this -_

And then I see her.

Hugging him.

Again.

Really Bella?

On the day that we're supposed to meet?

You moved spots to sit at his table didn't you?

Never took you for the kind of person to switch it up.

And for an overgrown _child_ at that.

You know what?

No.

That's not how this is going down.

I'm a grown ass man. I can handle this.

Isabella Marie Swan.

You will be handled.


	8. Chapter 8

Fucking kids and their questions.

I don't want to be late for this meeting with you.

Trust me.

If I could get away with telling my students to go fuck themselves and read the damn textbook I would.

For you.

But you probably wouldn't appreciate that kind of candor.

Outside of the bedroom of course.

I'm walking as fast as I can to my office. _Shit._ I almost spilled my coffee.

After taking the steps two at a time, I hurriedly try to compose myself. I feel a trickle of sweat run down my back. I've never been more thankful for a black button down in all my life.

I check my watch. 2:14.

This is good.

Enough time to check my email. Return a phone call to Professor Wheeler. Straighten up my office.

This is great.

Finally making it to my office, I unlock the door and immediately close it behind me.

I slam myself down in my chair and exhale heavily. _Haaaaaa._

14 minutes until my office hours start.

44 until you get here.


	9. Chapter 9

It's 3:26.

Will you be right on time? I do love punctuality.

Maybe if you're late I can punish you.

Wrong track.

Wrong track.

_Knock, Knock._

Guess they'll be no punishment for you.

_God. Just the thought of turning your ass and thighs red from _-

_Knock, Knock._

Right.

I clear my throat.

"Come in."

I stand as to seem respectful, but in reality, I just need to stop bouncing my leg cause that shit annoys even me.

You push the door open and peek inside with a bright smile on your face.

_Jesus. Christ._

You're so fucking gorgeous up close.

I'm going to throw up. _Stop being such a little bitch. _

You reach your hand out for me to shake. "Professor Masen? I'm Bella Swan. My sister Roaslie emailed you about my stopping by. I hope this is ok."

I shake her hand with a small smile. _Wow. Look at me._ I clear my throat as I smooth out my shirt. "Yes, of course. I told her this would be fine." I gesture for her to have a seat in front of my desk. I sit back down in my chair. And there goes my leg.

Her eyes dance around my desk and up my torso before finally reaching my eyes. "Good. I wasn't sure. She never told me if you responded."


	10. Chapter 10

Huh.

"So even though you weren't sure, you showed up anyway?" I quirk an eyebrow.

_Why did I ask that? Who cares?_

"Uh, I thought I'd take my chances. Honestly, even if you were with a student, I would've waited. This is pretty important to her."

_And you're thoughtful._

"But not you?"

You shrug. "Her happiness is important but gathering information that she could've just asked via email is not."

Both of my eyebrows lift.

She rushes out at, "Nevermind." and turns red.

_Red._ _Mmm._

"Professor Masen?"

"Right! Right." I clear my throat. Of what? Absolutely nothing.

Did the air get drier in here?

I fix a warm expression on my face. Warm. Grimacing. Same difference. "So I gathered all of the information including some financial aid information for additional assistance…"

And so the conversation goes.

You ask a lot of questions. Good questions. Questions that let me know that you're the responsible one.

Even though your academic profile states that Rose, is in fact, one year older than you

Are you the good sister? The one your parent's trust the most? Maybe they expect you to watch after Rose.

Don't worry. You can watch after Rose.

I can watch after you.

Soon.


	11. Chapter 11

I let you know about an informational session we're having exactly one week before the first dues installment. I extend an invitation to you and your sister, but you state that Rose probably won't be able to make it.

You agree to attend yourself and I smile widely before it even registers in my mind.

I don't even know where the fuck it came from.

Dr. Garrett would be so proud of me.

Jasper would just be shocked.

Honestly, I think I shit myself when you respond with a smile of your own.

* * *

It's been a week since our meeting. There's another week to go until the informational session you'll be attending.

Because you're a thoughtful sister. _Maybe._

I'm heading back to my office after my last lecture for the day. It's around 7:43 and I realize that I haven't eaten since lunch. I would try the cafeteria, but I wouldn't want to risk seeing you hugging that, that..._neanderthal. _Fucking overgrown child.

Although you're not far from a child yourself.

In age only though.

I make my way inside my office and sit my stuff on my desk. Shaking the mouse to wake up my monitor, I sip from my water bottle. Deep in thought, I faintly register my phone chime with an incoming text message. Glancing over, I see that it's from Jasper.

I'm hesitant to open it but if I don't respond now, he'll come find me. Maybe he has food.

Opening the message, I read, _"Stop avoiding me asshole."_ In comes another. _"Did you get Angela's email?"_

Angela's email? The same Angela that sent that horrid Rosalie Swan and the blessed _Bella_ Swan by proxy? No. No I did not.

I wait to respond to Jasper and go to check my email.

Well. There you go.

An email from Angela Cheney.


	12. Chapter 12

_From: _

_To: _

_Subject: Unavailable to Assist in Ireland_

_Dr. Masen,_

_I regret to inform you that I am no longer able to attend the Study Abroad trip to Ireland next semester. Certain unforeseen familial circumstances require me to spend part of the semester at home._

_While I understand that this is cutting it close to the deadline for required faculty, do not worry. I know that you would need a replacement graduate assistant for the semester, and I do have a few recommendations for my position:_

_Timothy Edwards - School of Business_

_Reagan Morgan - School of Business_

_Isabella Swan - School of Social Sciences_

_Emmett Cullen - School of Social Sciences_

_Again, my apologies for being unable to work with you next semester. If you need anything from these students, you have their permission to reach out to them at your earliest convenience. I have notified them of your schedule and they are well informed about the trip._

_Best,_

_Angela Cheney_

Oh, Angela.

Angela, Angela, Angela.

I could just hunt you down and kiss the shit out of you.

You know.

If you weren't already married.


	13. Chapter 13

_Isabella Swan._

5_ exclusive _months with Isabella Marie Swan.

I don't want to talk about this with anyone but Dr. Garrett.

He's a psychiatrist. It's his job to listen.

_Fucking doctors and their family vacations._

I will not talk to my mother about this.

Nope.

No I won't.

Fuck.

I guess Jasper will do.

* * *

"Well if it isn't Dr. Spaz. I ordered for you."

I wanna punch his ugly, smirky, face.

_Fucker._

"I'm not thanking you for that."

"You don't have to." He wipes his hands on a napkin and folds his arms on the table.

_Who raised this man?_

"To what do I owe the pleasure old friend?" And there's the smirk.

I sigh. "Jasper. I've come to you today, not for your opinion, but because my therapist is out of town and I don't want to disturb him and his family."

"Psychiatrist."

"Fuck off."


	14. Chapter 14

He laughs boisterously and smacks the table.

"Do you have to draw so much attention to yourself everytime?"

He looks at me incredulously. "Uh, yeah man." He scoffs. "So, what's up?"

I contemplate just how much to tell him.

Jasper and I go way back. Before I became a self-diagnosed stalker...person.

I'm not a danger to anyone but myself really. I think.

I open my mouth to ask about the Ireland situation and it happens. Word vomit out the wazoo.

I tell him everything.

_Everything._

Not because it just comes out. But because I feel like I've been keeping a big secret from someone whom I'll never (out loud) admit to being my best friend.

"Shit. Well what are you waiting for? Wait, why the hell have you waited this long to talk to her? Wait, why are you watching - ?"

I hold my hands up to stop him. "Jasper, I didn't plan to act like a creepy stalker over this girl, it -"

"Just hit you. Yeah. This is eighth grade, Samantha Ryan, all over again. What the fuck?"

I wave my hands around and open and close my mouth. _I don't _fucking_ know._ "Jasper. If I knew what the fuck, I would tell you."

"Ninth grade, Amber Smithsen."

"Jazz."

"Tenth grade, Samantha Ryan and Beverly Thomas. Samantha grew way the fuck up so we all went back to that ass."

I nod in agreeance and shrug.

"Lena Tarny, Crystal Bash, -"

"I get it." I hiss at him.


	15. Chapter 15

"No, actually, _I_ don't get it. Ed, why is this girl any different? Because she's a decade younger than you? You had more game than this when _you_ were in college." He throws his hands up as the waiter comes up to refill his water.

I wait until he leaves to respond. "Jasper. I...I don't fucking know. She's...I don't know." I run my hands through my hair and set my elbows on the table. I exhale heavily. "Maybe it's because I at least knew that the other party was at least interested. I have nothing to go on here."

"I doubt that."

I shoot him a look. "Okay. Honestly, you either say something helpful right now or you're paying for dinner." I run my fingers through my hair continuously, gritting my teeth. This is why I have a therapist.

"Edward, I love you man. Despite you being a fucking weirdo, I don't think you'll actually have an issue with her being your grad assistant for the semester. Besides being an asshole when you don't know all of the variables of a situation, you're a pretty fun guy to be around when it comes to your work." With that, Jasper goes back to his water, just as the waiter comes to give us fresh bread. "You also have more self-discipline and self-awareness than most people I know."

Right, Jasper. Right.

* * *

Honestly, I know I can control myself around her. I've done it and I don't give in to temptation that easily.

_But God, her ass and her smell and - _no. No.

I digress.

She has a great reputation. She's never slept with Professor Hakleman - and if she did, I don't want to know - and she seems to actually have some sense. Everyone Angela mentioned would be a great fit, if I'm being real with myself. However...

I'm not going to be that person that pretends that I don't have feelings for someone - see Samantha, Beverly, and Amber.

But I also won't kid myself into thinking that I won't be able to get my head out of my ass long enough to be professional.

Even though her ass is tempting, not getting sued and losing my job is more important.

Just by a little bit.


	16. Chapter 16

_Information Session Day_

* * *

I do need a plan.

For days when her hair will smell really nice.

For days when she wears all black.

For days when she looks windswept and ruddy cheeked and bundled up like a baby panda - whose species should just be nurtured and protected and loved and…

...well I kind of don't want to fuck a Panda, so we're going to stop that train of thought.

* * *

The plan is simple.

Approach Ms. Swan during the session tonight. Extend the invitation.

If she says no, I will not curl up into a little ball. I will extend the invitation to Timothy and professionally hate him for the entire duration of the trip.

If she says yes, well...

I will curl up into a ball.

Cry.

And call Dr. Garrett.

Because I am an emotionally healthy human being.

One who can recognize when they are _not_ all that emotionally healthy and does in fact need a little hand-holding from time to time.


	17. Chapter 17

_Knock, knock_.

"Come in." I don't bother to look up and away from my computer. I keep typing, waiting for the other person.

The door opens.

A whiff of sweetness.

This is not the plan. Why is she always ruining the plan?

"Mr. Cullen?" Her voice. Stronger than I remember. Forceful.

Maybe _she_ can tie _me_ up.

Mmph.

"Can I help you?" Harsher than I wanted to be, but what can you do?

"Yes." She clears her throat. "Is this a good time to talk?'

Well…"The point of having office hours is to be open to talk to students and faculty when needed."

Okay. What the fuck Edward.

Her head cocks to the side and her eyes squint. "Am I interrupting something important? Because there's no need to be rude and condescending, _Professor _Masen_._" She grins a little. Sarcasm looks good on her, but...

_Professor _Masen?_ Professor Masen? _"It's Doctor Masen. I have a doctorate. I - "

"And I'm considerate, not stupid. I know the purpose behind Office Hours."

I stare. I blink. I blurt.

"What can I do for you Ms. Swan?"

I'll do anything. Any way.


	18. Chapter 18

"Angela notified me of her recommendation to be your Grad Assistant next semester. Despite your self-confirmed reputation, I didn't want to risk waiting for your decision. I would be honored to work with you next semester. I believe it will be a mutually beneficial opportunity." She finishes with a nice, open expression.

Never losing eye contact.

No indication that she knows what's going on down south of my desk.

Focus.

"How can you be so sure you're a good fit?"

"Because I'm not annoyingly eager, I understand the meaning behind sexual harassment, and I'm not interested in being your friend. Work and responsibility are my first priorities. I believe we can make a great, efficient team."

Efficiency is one of my biggest turn-ons.

How did she know?

Not going to lie.

She could have said anything, and I still would have questions. But...she had me at _"Angela"_.

I consider her for a moment.

Could I really do this? The prep would have to start now. I'd have to meet with her twice a week, expose myself to her beauty, intelligence, and most importantly, _her ass_.

_God, her ass._

Okay. Alright. Okay.

"Ms. Swan…"


	19. Chapter 19

"I would need 2 recommendations from profes-"

She whips out a folder from behind her binder and hands it out to me. "Two Professional references and recommendations, as well as two more from one of my Undergrad professors and one from a Grad professor. I also took the liberty of gathering a copy of Angela's notes from your previous meetings about the trip and caught myself up with the curriculum and schedule for next semester. I do have some ideas about your extracurricular assignments. Angela said you wanted external input." She blinks. She looks down at her hand and then back up to me, shaking the folder a little.

"Marry me." I whisper.

"Excuse me?"

Was that a whisper?

"What?"

"You just -"

"Excuse me," I clear my throat, adjust my tie. I grab the folder carefully. Slowly. "I'll take these and get back to you tomorrow."

..."Okay. Thank you. I will see you at the meeting tonight." A little smile.

An about face.

And with that, she's gone.

A groan. From me.

What the fuck Edward.


	20. Chapter 20

Bella's POV

* * *

"Which one is he?"

I sigh, annoyed. "He's the one in the grey with weird hair." She looks up from her phone and finally spots him.

We're way in the back. I didn't know so many people were interested in an educational trip to Ireland. Or maybe they're just here for the extra credit.

God, I miss those days.

"He's really attractive Bella."

"I don't care."

"But you've acknowledged it."

"It's the first thing I noticed."

"Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"There's nothing wrong with it, technically or legally. It'd probably get rid of Jake once and for all."

I roll my eyes "...I'm not sleeping with, fucking, or dating my future boss."

"Mm. Confidence and honesty. How admirable."

"Mhmm."

"Can I sleep with, date and fuck your future boss?"

I burst out laughing, quickly covering my mouth. Dr. Masen has stopped talking and several heads turn in our direction.

"Sorry!" Alice says. "Can't take her anywhere." She waves her hand in dismissal.

Dr. Masen stares at me for a beat before continuing with a huff.

I sigh internally.

He _is_ really handsome.

* * *

A/N: One more today.

I got another story idea stuck in my head and then lost all motivation for this one since it was supposed to just be an exercise. There will be more tomorrow to start catching back up to my original plan of 6 chapters a week.


	21. Chapter 21

Back to Edward's POV

* * *

Oh, Isabella. How rude. Talking during the Q&A.

I have to say. I'm surprised. I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of those students. One of those people.

But I guess I don't _actually_ know you, do I?

Hmm. We can fix that.

"So have you made a decision yet?" Angela asks, as she helps me pack up the room.

"Uh, I believe so." I continue to shut down the projector and straighten up the chairs. _11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16..._

"Okaaay. Who'd you choose? Timothy?"

Fuck no, Angela. Jesus. Why would I choose someone else, when I can spend five months alone with Isabella?

Ah. A man can only dream.

A lot.

Wait, does she know something? Play it cool. "Isabella, actually. I've met her a few times and I think we have a good rapport."

She lifts an eyebrow. "Bella? Really?"

Fuck. What does she know? What does that mean? "Yes. Is that a problem? You recommended her…" I turn to face her completely.

"No! I'm just surprised, is all. She's pretty feisty. And you're…"

"...I'm?" I gesture for her to continue._ 23, 24, 25, 26..._

"Dr. Masen...you're pretty tame. And quiet. And mean. You didn't get your reputation for no reason."

My eyes roll so hard, my head starts to ache. "What is this reputation that I supposedly have?"


	22. Chapter 22

She laughs a little. Moving towards the light panel she enlightens me. "Dr. Masen, I knew you before I even started working with you. The mean, persnickety professor. The one who's only lenient if you're dying or close to it."

"Do people still say persnickety?"

She shoots me a look, not amused. "Yes, we literary students who don't care, use words like persnickety." She shakes her head. "I'm just saying, you make it known that you only tolerate the human species. At least those that you don't know. Professor Whitlock seems to be an exception."

I consider her words. Truly. That doesn't account for something else though.

"Angela. If that's the case, then why do people still try to engage me in conversation?"

Closing the door and walking out together, we hold our perspective things as we exit the building.

Walking towards the parking deck, she informs me that there are several bets on whether or not I'm a psychopath, sociopath, or something in between. Whatever that means.

She also lets me know that many people think that I have a secret life that's too dangerous to let people in.

Surprisingly, my students are the ones who apparently have more sense.

They just think I'm an ass who's better preparing them for their career.

Eh. They could still do better.

"So, Edward. How is everything? You haven't called that often between sessions."

Never looking up, still writing on his pad.

_34, 35, 36, 37_…"Pretty good."

He waits a beat. Abruptly putting down his pen, he looks up at me with squinted eyes.

"Pretty good?"


	23. Chapter 23

_Well, shit._

"Yes."

He taps his pen against his notepad, still squinting. Inhaling quickly, he finally speaks. "What did you do?"

I ponder that question for a few minutes. Lips pursed. He doesn't push me to speak. He doesn't lose eye contact. Instead he puts down his pen and waits for me.

Jasper could never.

Just saying.

After a few minutes I just go. It's Dr. Garrett. How bad could it be?

* * *

"Oh, Edward." He rubs his hand over his face, and smiles at me. "You asked her to marry you?"

"I didn't _ask_ her to marry me. I whispered a thought out loud and promptly brushed over it. I would think you'd focus more on the fact that she's my assistant."

"You asked her to marry you."

"I did not!" I exclaimed, exasperated. Running my fingers over my hair roughly, I continue. "You know, even if she did hear it. She hasn't even brought it up. We've been working together seamlessly." I cross my arms and slouch further down into the couch.

"Mhmm. Well, that explains why you haven't said much lately. You've been working with her for a month now."

"...And?"

"Can I speak freely?"

I roll my eyes and gesture for him to continue.

"Edward, you look exhausted."


	24. Chapter 24

I blink at him, confused. "What?"

"Edward, from what you've stated in the last 30 minutes or so, Isabella is not who you thought she was."

"Well, no one is. But she's just as smart and thoughtful as I presumed."

"Yes, but you also used the words frustrating and crazy."

"...she is a little crazier than I thought." I admit.

"And?"

"...And?"

He sighs. "Just this conversation is making you tense. Is there anything else that's going on?"

"I-"

"Before you say whatever you're about to say, I can detect your bullshit from a mile away."

Closing my gaping mouth, I frown at him.

Maybe he is as bad as Jasper.

* * *

Leaving Dr. Garrett's office, I reflect on our conversation.

Before I left, he made me admit something that I didn't want to.

I'm an analytical thinker. I dissect. I deduce. I gather information and genuinely come up with the conclusion that majority of the people around are annoying as fuck.

But, Isabella...well she's a whole other thing entirely.


	25. Chapter 25

Isabella Marie Swan is 24 years old. She has one sister named Rosalie and her parents are married. Happily married.

In the last 2 months, I've actually learned some new things.

I've also never counted so much in one day in my life.

She actually prefers the movie adaptations of books.

Strike one.

She puts sour cream on everything. Her dinner choices are less than complete meals and we'll leave it at that.

Strike Two.

I hate sour cream and always have a balanced meal 3 times a day. And 3 snacks.

She listens to all kinds of music. Even that horrid Rap crap full of nothing but derogatory words. Apparently it gets her "hype".

Strike Three.

I only listen to Jazz and R&B. Sue me.

Anyway, more importantly, she's _absolutely brilliant_.

And as sweet as I once presumed she was from afar, she is anything but.

She doesn't give a fuck about anything.

Needless to say.

_As much as I hate to say it…_

That beautifully crafted pedestal I put her on?

Shattered. Demolished. Destroyed.

My heart though?

Working over time.


	26. Chapter 26

Gathering my things and putting them into my bag, I double check that I have everything I need.

I refuse to come back to this place before I need to.

Someone knocks and I look up to see Isabella.

"Dr. Masen. Glad I caught you. Do you have a few minutes?"

I check my watch and sigh. I guess I have time.

"Uh, yes. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something?"

I quirk an eyebrow. "Opinion on…?"

She shifts nervously.

Which I've come to realize is a very rare occurrence with her. Isabella Marie Swan _does not_ get nervous.

_Feisty was an understatement, Angela._

She rolls her eyes. "I wouldn't even be asking you this, but you seem like the best person for this." She takes a deep breath, but doesn't continue.

"...Bella, I do have somewhere to be."

She looks at me, annoyed. Walking forward, she slams a piece of paper down onto my desk.

Glancing down, I do a double take.

"What the hell?"


	27. Chapter 27

It's a flyer for a live Jazz band playing at popular spot downtown.

She doesn't even like Jazz that much.

"What is this?"

"Well, the title...explicitly states…"

I shoot her a look. "I can read Isabella."

She rolls her eyes at that. "Alice wants to go see them over the break and I was wondering if you've seen them? Would I be wasting my time if I went?"

Logically, I know she doesn't need my opinion. She could wing it, as she often has in the past per our previous conversations.

So while she doesn't need it, the fact that she wants it…

Nope. Not going there.

"I _have_ been there to see them. It's a rather intimate space, though. I, uh...wouldn't recommend that scene for you."

Her eyebrows lift in surprise. "You wouldn't recommend it because the space is intimate?"

"Well, it's mostly couples that go…"

"And you're assuming I'm single?"

I'll kill her if she isn't. If she's actually dating that oaf...

Check yourself. "You mentioned Alice wanted to go, so I assumed that you were only going for her. I don't care what you do or who you go with." I stuff the rest of my papers in my bag. "Maybe you're dating Alice."

She laughs. "I could be, but she's not my type. Anyway, forgetting the ambiance, are they any good?"

"Yes. They're really good. Now if you're done laughing at my expense…" I quickly grab my things and move around my desk to leave.

Seeing my exit, she moves to block my path, palm out in front of her.

"I do have another question for you."


	28. Chapter 28

I go to ask her what is it but then I feel it.

Her hand.

Her hand is on my chest.

I look down at her hand and then back up at her face.

Her beautiful, lickable face.

She looks at her hand and immediately removes it, eyes wide.

"Sorry." She says, shaking her head and that same hand that was just on my chest.

I don't say anything.

I just stare at her.

She had to have felt that.

_Fuck._

I was doing so well.

_So fucking well._

And as usual, she changes my_ fucking plans_.

"Marry me."

"What?!"


	29. Chapter 29

Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Uh…"

She looks at me in confusion and slowly backs away. I panic.

"Wait! No! I'm sorry. That...was not supposed to come out." My eyes pinch shut. Clutching the bridge of my nose, I…

Shit, I can't breathe.

_1, 2, 3, 4…_

"Dr. Masen?"

Why is the room so hot? Is it spinning?

Why can't I breathe?

Somehow I end up on the floor, on my knees.

And then I feel her. And hear her.

One hand on my shoulder.

One hand on the back of my neck.

Her voice. Telling me to _breathe in with me, breathe out._

After a few minutes I realize my head is in her lap, and my hands are on her thighs.

Not exactly how I pictured touching her there but I can cry about this later.


	30. Chapter 30

"You good now?" She asks warily. Still looking perplexed, but a little concerned.

"...yeah." I clear a nonexistent something from my throat. "I'm...fine." I can feel my face pinching. "You can go now." I say, looking anywhere but at her.

She doesn't move and neither do I.

We're separated now, no longer touching.

Her hands are not on my neck.

My hands are no longer on her thighs.

No one but Dr. Garrett has been able to get me to come out of a panic attack that quickly.

This has officially been a horrible day.

She still hasn't moved.

Picking myself up off the floor, I feel my eyes burn.

_You're a grown ass man. You will not cry in front of her._

Hell, after that scene she wouldn't be surprised.

I busy myself with straightening my tie and turning to compose myself as to not witness her exit.

I'm doing this so long that I don't realize that she's standing right behind me until she's clutching my arm and turning me to face her.

"You know, I knew you were attracted to me, but marriage? That's a little inappropriate."

* * *

A/N: I'm all caught up now! Regular updates starting next week.


	31. Chapter 31

I look up sharply, eyes wide. Indignant, I shout, "Excuse me?!"

She laughs. "Dr. Masen. You're not exactly subtle. Professional, yes. Discreet, sure. But I've caught you staring at my ass more than once."

"_You do have a phenomenal ass._" I whisper.

Her eyebrows lift. "What?"

"What?"

"...okay." She nods. "While, I'm still against mixing business with pleasure, but I'm willing to contradict myself if things can continue as they are." She looks at me. A little hopeful. A little reserved.

So fucking gorgeous.

And never quite what I expect.

"Please excuse my language Isabella but...are you fucking kidding me?"

Her eyes widened. "What - ?"

"Is this another joke? Are you feeling sorry for me?"

She rolls her eyes. "No, you ass! I was trying to ask you out without you freaking out, but clearly that didn't work." She adjusts her stuff in her arms and turns to leave.

I grab her arm. "Wait! Wait." I say, turning her around.

"Dr. Masen, honestly forget it. I'm not - "

"Are you serious?"

" - offended. I have no problem just being your assistant."

"Isabella, please. Are you serious?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"...good point." I take a deep breath. "I would be honored to go out with you, if you can get past my being an asshole."


	32. Chapter 32

We're at a Starbucks near her dorm because I'm very considerate.

If this ends up being a disaster she won't have to wait too long to get away from me.

She did not like that comment, by the way.

"Not gonna lie, I was expecting you to...tell me to leave you alone. Find another assistantship. Anything but agree to a date." She chuckles, putting down her drink.

Something strong with some espresso.

I did expect something frou frou. I'm glad she doesn't believe in that. _If I'm going to drink coffee, I want coffee._

I love her.

"Well...while this is technically not against school rules, some can see it as inappropriate. I would never want to harm your reputation." I shift around nervously.

She grins. "I'm pretty established here, but I appreciate that."

We're quiet for a moment. We've talked a lot for the last two hours, about nothing and anything.

Can someone really fall in love in just 3 months? Well...for me it's been about 6 months.

Huh. Should I? Maybe. Hell, at this point, why not?

"Isabella, can I ask you something?"


	33. Chapter 33

"Sure."

"Why are you interested in me?"

"Oh. That's easy." She wipes off her hands. "The big thing is that you're a gentleman. I've worked with a few people who were less than professional and it's pretty uncomfortable."

I'll kill them.

"You can fix your face. I handled it." Whatever. "But other than that, you're _ridiculously_ handsome and _very_ thoughtful. So thoughtful. I'm pretty sure you haven't even noticed the little things that you've done, or you probably would have had other...um...episodes."

I frown. "Like what?"

She blushes. Oh, god. What did I do? "You always buy more food than necessary because you know I don't eat complete meals and am completely starving by the time we meet. Forcing me to eat vegetables." She scoffs, still blushing. "You always give my music a try, but you're still a hardass and won't add it to your library even if you like it. You bought my favorite pack of pens because you've noticed - "

"That you have a hard time writing with anything else but refuse to buy more because they'll be lost by your last class." I blurt out.

Grinning. " - and despite your reputation, " She quirks an eyebrow. "You're never judgmental about any of the mistakes I make."

I remember that day, it was rough. I had to fight every instinct to tell her what should have been done. _So much counting_.

"You're really...nice. Also...I really like when you put our hand on the small of my back when you open my door. It's never near my ass." She winks, still blushing.

I can't help it.

"I love you."


	34. Chapter 34

She chokes on her coffee.

"Shit. I'm sorry." I get up and move into her booth, picking up napkins and wiping her face. "Okay, look..." I throw down the napkins.

"You have _got_ to stop doing that."

"Isabella…"

"Jesus, it came out of my nose."

"Isabella." I huff.

She looks up, stuffing a tissue up her nostril. Her forehead brushing my chin. Has she always been this short?

I look her in the eye, steeling myself for what I'm about to say, when I realize she's not looking at me.

She's looking at my lips.

She takes a breath before biting down on her lower lip. I smirk a little.

I'd love to bite that lip. I'd love to bite her anything, really.

I lick my lips.

Her face flushes. Her chest.

I wonder how far down it goes?

"Dr. Masen?"

"Yes." I say, head cocked.

"Can I call you Edward?"

My pants?

Ruined.


	35. Chapter 35

"Um...course - of course."

Who turned the heat up?

Why are my pants so fucking tight?

"Okay."

"Okay."

…

"Can you move back to your side now?"

"Oh! Right! My apologies."

She fidgets with a coffee stained napkin. Would it be weird to take one of those home?

Maybe when she's not looking.

Yes. Right.

"Sorry, I just...I didn't want to maul you in public."

_Fuck me_.

* * *

"So. Edward."

"So. Dr. Garrett."

He smiles at me. Not with me.

If I smile, I may burst.

"I got an interesting call from your Mother."

I raise an eyebrow in question.

"Apparently, you're bringing someone home for Christmas?"


	36. Chapter 36

"What?! No! I said no such thing."

He laughs, loudly. "Oh, I figured that."

"I said I wanted to bring someone home for Christmas, not that I was going to."

"...who do you want to bring home for Christmas?" He looks so confused that I just want to punch his face in.

"The love of my life." I say, wistfully.

"The love of your life?"

I nod vigorously. "Yes, Garrett. Isabella Marie Swan. The future Mrs. Masen."

To his credit, he doesn't laugh. He just writes in his pad, smiling. Lips upturned. "Edward?"

"What?" I ask, exasperated.

"Son...it's only been three days since you declared your love for the girl. Are you ever going to give the rest of us time to catch up?"

"Well, " I say sheepishly. "She may need more time than I thought." I pick at the couch cushion.

You know, just to avoid the look he's about to give me.

"At least you can acknowledge that. Can you tell me why she needs a little more time than you?"

…

"Edward?"

I sigh. "I told her. Everything."


	37. Chapter 37

He takes his glasses off to cover his face. "Oh, Edward."

"I couldn't hold it in anymore!"

"How much - "

"All of it. The watching from afar. Taking detours to catch her before her class. Looking her up in the system after seeing her present in Professor Banner's class. It started out as me just trying to see who this grad student was that my colleague raved about - "

"Right."

" - even though he's a mess who really needs to just focus on his own marriage a- "

"Focus."

"Isabella knows everything…"

…

"Even how great her ass looks in those jeans with the cut off right under - "

"Okay. So you clearly need a homework assignment."

He clicks his pen closed.

* * *

Taking a sip of my Hot Cocoa, I shift my gaze to the squirrel running across the snow.

Freshly fallen. Perfectly white. Beautifully laid.

And here's a squirrel.

Coming to fuck everything up.

There are two more days until Christmas.

One week since I've seen or heard from Bella after pouring my heart out of my ass.

Not.

One.

Word.


	38. Chapter 38

"Edward. Get over here and carve this ham."

"I don't even like ham."

She throws a spare towel at me. "Did I ask you that? Bring your ass."

"Jesus." I stomp over and slam my cup down. I pick up the carving fork and get to work. _She's lucky she's my mother._

"Honey."

"Oh, now I'm honey? Ow!"

"I don't know who you think you're talking to, but you are not too old to be taken out. What is wrong with you?" She puts her hands on her hips, concerned and frustrated.

This isn't my first tantrum today.

Or my second.

But even though I'm not a child…

A hug would be really nice.

But I may crush anyone who comes too close so…

* * *

"Oh, Edward."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!"

She gives me a look that only a mom can pull off.

"Sorry. It's just...this was my biggest fear. I told you and Dr. Garrett - "

"We told you to get to know her and ease into it. Honey, you've had girlfriends before. This should not be this hard. Remember Samantha?"

I definitely remember Samantha. Her ass was _nowhere near_ as nice as Isabella's.


	39. Chapter 39

"Ed, your son is overreacting about this young woman. He thinks she doesn't want him. I say he came on too strong and to just wait out."

"Ellie…"

"What?" My mom shrugs innocently.

Nothing about Elizabeth Masen is innocent.

I was conceived in the back of my father's van because she_ "thought_ _the waves moved me just right."_

Innocent my ass.

"We don't need to discuss this at dinner. Dr. Garrett said that if she doesn't reach out to me by New Years, then I can call her to make sure she's okay to work with me next semester." I say glumly.

I really hope it doesn't come to that.

My father looks at my mother and then at me. Clearing his throat, he wipes his mouth. "Son...if this girl is important to you, and based on what your mother has said, she is," I grunt in confirmation. "Then I think you should reach out to her the day after Christmas. Don't want to take her focus away from her family but also gives you peace of mind before you put a hole in my wall."

Ah, my father. How he knows me so well.

* * *

Not well enough because as soon as I sit down on my bed and look around what used to be my childhood bedroom, I make the decision.

I'll be patient.

I'll wait until New Years.

Despite the fact that_ I know_ everyone thinks I'm dramatic and selfish when it comes to people and women, I can be patient.

Isabella Marie Swan is not just some woman I'm obsessed over. She's not just a pretty young thing to scratch an itch.

I knew from the moment I saw her, that she was it.

The One.

And because of that...I'll give her time.


	40. Chapter 40

What the fuck is that?

What the -

"Ow! What the fuck?" I jump up and look around. Damn, my eyes hurt.

"Rise and shine Honey!"

"Mom, what the hell?" I groan. I roll over and throw my arm over my face. _Jesus_.

"Breakfast is ready and your brother is here. Chop chop."

I groan long and loud. Waiting until she leaves, I roll back over. After a minute there's a loud knock on my door. "Move your ass." I jump up and give the door a finger.

Fuck. Sitting up and rubbing my eyes I exhale heavily. A shower is definitely in order.

* * *

Clad only in a towel, I throw myself back onto my bed. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I rest. Get my mind right. Then sit up. Taking a moment to stare at the wall, I jump at the buzzing of my phone, having zoned out.

Frowning in confusion, I pick up my phone from it's charging pad and check the screen.

'_Fat Booty Baby.'_

Isabella Marie Swan.

_Fuck_.

_Me._

* * *

A/N: One of my favorite Edward's in all of FanFic is from Higher by SexyLexiCullen. The line that always kills me is "Smoking a fat blunt with my fat booty baby..." Gives me life every time.


	41. Chapter 41

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I have to answer right?

_Duh, Edward. What the fuck?_

Right.

I clear my throat.

And then fix my towel.

Why?

I don't fucking know. Jesus, what am I even getting hard for?

"Hello?"

I hear her sigh. "Edward. Hi."

_Edward._

Well that's a good fucking sign.

"Isabella." Clearing my throat of nothing once again. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Excited. Merry Christmas." I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Merry Christmas, Isabella."

* * *

I laugh. "My mom is a pain in the ass, but it's fine. I try to remember I'm a 34 year old man."

"Trust me, I won't forget." She says with a..._particular inflection_.

Before we get there..."Isabella - "

"I do think you're crazy - "

I gum my lips. "My psychiatrist doesn't like that word."

" - but...it's not the end of the world. Was I a little creeped out? Yes. Do I have questions? Yes."


	42. Chapter 42

"I know. I know. Look, it was never my intention to scare you or make you uncomfortable, it just...got out of hand."

"I understand that. It kind of made me feel like an object? I don't know, but I've thought about it. Edward, you're really intense."

"I know."

Her voice is lighter. "If you didn't then we'd have a real problem."

We both laugh at that. Her in amusement. Me in disbelief.

How did I even get here?

"Isabella - "

"Bella."

I smile, eyes closed. "Bella. I do want to make one thing clear…"

"Okay…"

"I am, _truly_, in love with you. I know and _understand_ that you're nowhere near where I'm at - "

"_Edward_ \- "

"Let me finish. That fact doesn't hurt my feelings or make me depressed like I thought it would. It just makes me nervous. But that's what relationships are sometimes. People fall in love at different rates."

"I - "

"I'm not saying I expect a relationship right off the bat because there are a lot of other factors at play here. However, I do want to pursue you. A courtship if you will."

"You're going to ask my dad to court me?"

…

"Okay, forget the courtship. We can just start with more dates."

She breathes heavily. "Okay. I can work with that."

"Good."

"And Edward?"

"Yes, beautiful?"

"...no more surprise proposals."


	43. Chapter 43

"I've never had a New years kiss before."

Her eyes bug out. "Really? Why not?"

"...because I've never had a New Years date."

"Okay, smart ass. You don't need a date to get a kiss."

I raise an eyebrow. "Really?" I take a sip of my coffee.

"Don't get any ideas, Sir." She laughs into her mug.

"Don't do that."

Her face falls. "Do what?"

"Call me Sir."

"...that gets you going huh?"

"Isabella." I say sternly.

* * *

_10!, 9!, 8!, 7!…_

"You ready Dr. Cullen?" She adjusts my hat.

This stupid fucking hat. I can't even see through the zeros of these stupid New Years glasses.

"Not really."

"Too bad." She smiles at, still adjusting.

Fuck it. I grab her around the waist, pulling her body against mine. She yelps a little before laughing and settling her arms on my shoulders, hands on my neck. Playing with my hair.

Against each other's lips, we count down the final _three, two, one_ with those on the TV...


	44. Chapter 44

...and _finally._

She presses her lips to mine. Slight pressure just to test the waters.

But first kiss or not, it's nowhere near enough.

I trace her lower lip with my tongue asking for permission.

But as Isabella often does, she surprises me. Pressing my head closer to hers, she plunges her tongue deep into my mouth.

And I take full advantage.

Tongues.

Sucking.

Deep.

More.

_Jesus this girl can kiss._

After a moment of all hell breaking loose, she tears her lips from mine. Not wanting any of this to end, _please never end,_ my lips move across her chin, her cheek, her jaw…

"_Oh, God_. Edward. Wait."

I freeze. Tongue on her neck, teeth poised.

"Edward?"

"Yeth?"

"How about we move this to my bedroom?"

I place one last lingering kiss, suck, nip on her neck and slowly straighten up.

Instead of responding how I want to, I kiss her forehead to calm myself and then question why the fuck I want to calm down.

Fuck it.

I scoop her up and plant one on her. "Anything you want Isabella Marie Swan."

* * *

A/N: And that's that. Epilogue is next.


	45. Chapter 45

_Epilogue_

* * *

"How about Clarissa?"

"Too girly."

"Bella, your name is girly."

"You want two girly girls walking around here?"

"I don't think she'll do much walking with you holding her all the time."

"With a house this big she'll get lost if I don't!"

"Sure, beautiful. Sure."

"Don't try to butter me up, Edward, with your "beautiful" crap."

"Crap?"

"Crap."

"Would you feel better if I got one of those baby gates?"

She frowns, playing with the buttons on my shirt. "I don't want her to feel like a caged animal in her own house."

"Bella."

"What?!"

"...she's a dog."

...

"...fine. Get the damn baby gates."

* * *

A/N: c'est enfin fini

Also, if anyone has any recommendations for Fantasy fanfic I can read, please let me know! I am currently writing my own and want to see if anyone can Beta for me.

I hope you enjoyed this story and thank you so much for reading and reviewing!


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